thefaceshekeepsinajarbythedoor:

things i need to do:

  • clean my room
  • get a college degree
  • learn how to have healthy relationships
things i want to do:
  • play with puppies and kittens
  • find someone cute to cuddle and make out with
  • drive to the ocean
things i actually am doing:
  • taking subpar selfies
  • running a semi successful blog
  • listening to sad songs and watching too much netflix

(via whenyourheartwearsthinn)

dapperhatsandfancypants:

theausterevolunteer:

oscarstardis:

stillmonkeys:

From A Series of Unfortunate Events DVD commentary track.

if you haven’t watched this film with the commentary then you are missing out, it’s hilarious. “Lemony Snicket” was completely unhappy with the film and wanted no real part of it and so in the commentary he just fucks about. Seriously, at one point he gets out an accordion and drowns out the director with his playing

"nearly all of my life"

Lemony Snicket sass is what I aspire to in life.

(via bakethatlinguist)

indiscriminateslag:

tastefullyoffensive:

Mind-Boggling Food Realizations [distractify]

Previously: Genious Shower Thoughts, Dog Shower Thoughts

The “same thing for breakfast” statement is so true for me. I am an oatmeal-eating MACHINE.

(via bakethatlinguist)

deepstarss:

"you’re not asian! you’re indian/pakistani/bengali/other"

bruh does the asian map look like this to you:

image

(via bakethatlinguist)

strivingking:

If you’re in college right now

Check the syllabus for each one of your classes right now while you bullshittin

Don’t fall behind this early in the semester off some bullshit

(via fyeahcracker)